love is in the little things
by dimitrisgirl18
Summary: A series of drabbles for the people who matter. A collection of unrequited affection, teenage angst, and the little details that make us love. Various pairings. Rated T for more mature themes. Lastest chapter: Mollyii/Roxanne.
1. tell me that you love me

_tell me that you love me (or else i don't know what i'll do)_

* * *

You stare blankly at the face of your best friend (he was only a best friend, nothing more). It was all your fault. You know it (Remus did too, he blamed you). If you hadn't gone and been so bloody stupid, maybe…maybe you wouldn't be sitting in the hospital wing, hoping and praying to a god you don't believe in to just, god, keep him alive. You would do anything, you would repent, go to church, stop sneaking around, do your homework, just please let him be alive (because if he was dead you just don't know what you'd do).

Madam Pomfrey bustles about, telling you to change the cool rag on his forehead. You take the warm one off and cringe. He's running a fever because he's fighting infection, they say. You know he's running a fever because of what you did (and you will never forgive yourself as long as you live). Putting the cool one on his forehead, you try to stay busy and change the water in the rag bowl.

From the sink in the corner, you see James and Peter enter. You don't want to see them, so you hide (because you're afraid they'll condemn you). They talk to Madam Pomfrey for a while. Could be hours. Could be minutes. Any time away from Remus is too long. You think they're leaving, but James turns around and sees you. He doesn't say anything (though you bloody well wish he would even though you're scared).

When they leave, you change his rag again and take his temperature. His fever is down by point three. You tell Madam Pomfrey. She thanks you for keeping watch (and you hate that watching is the only thing you can do).

You're reading your textbook for Charms when he finally wakes up (and catch it right before you drop it).

"Pads?"

"God, Remus, I'm so bloody sorry, I," You falter. What else is there to say? "I had no idea."

He sighs. "Can I have ice?" he mumbles.

You nod and grab the ice chips, putting a few on a spoon and placing them gently in his mouth (because you want to do everything you can).

"Thanks."

There is silence.

"Tell me that you love me." you blurt out (and then you want to hide).

"What?"

"Nothing."

"No. What?"

"Tell me that you love me," You whisper this time. "Or else I don't know what I'll do."

"Why?" His face says that he is hiding something (and you hope it's what you think it is).

"I will never be able to forgive myself. I love you, Remus. And I am so sorry. Please tell me that you love me."

He breathes out, and then smiles. "I love you too. I didn't want to tell you." He pauses. "But you're still an idiot for the whole Snape thing."

You hold his hand, and it is quiet.

"I know," you say, but he is already asleep. It's okay. He loves you.

* * *

_A/N: This is my belated Valentine's Day gift for the lovely Sam: some Wolfstar! Enjoy, darling, and thanks for being my Valentine._

_Allie_


	2. don't you understand?

_don't you understand?_

* * *

When Sirius finally came to stay at the Potter house, it felt like home. For more than just the usual reasons. Sure, Mr. and Mrs. Potter couldn't be nicer people. Sure, he finally had a family who accepted him and gave him his own bedroom and didn't hit him. But he was also with his best friend.

"Okay, Sirius," James said. "Here's the deal. You're going to do all of my chores, and I'm…not." James grinned and Sirius rolled his eyes.

"No deal, Prongs." he said.

"What?" James said, faking surprise. "That's a totally fair deal!"

"Mr. Potter," his mother said. "Do your chores and stop trying to bribe Sirius."

"That was one time, mom." he protested.

"One time you tried to sell your wand for your chores." she shot back. "Merlin help us all when you turn seventeen."

James sulked around for a little until Sirius promised he would help, then they went outside to weed the flower bed—chore number one. It was nice and sunny, the beginning of July, and they could hear children playing as they tossed weeds in the rubbish bin.

"Thanks for letting me stay with you," Sirius said.

"Pads, we've been over this. It's not a big deal. You're welcome here, and we like having you."

_Not as much as I like being here, _Sirius thought. He admired the way his friend worked, his muscles, his jawline, his…_stop it, Sirius. Merlin._

"So, er, seventh year." he said, trying to make conversation.

"Yeah, it's kind of bittersweet, isn't it?"

"I guess so, yeah."

"Lily's going to go out with me this year, I just know it." James said, grinning.

Sirius felt his heart twinge. _Go out with me, _he thought. _Notice me, can't you see me?_ "Yeah, mate, I'm sure."

Another pause, and then "Got your eye on any girl?" James asked.

"Nah," Sirius said, quite literally being physically hurt by the words. "No girl has quite caught my attention." _Because it belongs to you. _

"We'll find you one, don't you worry." he replied. "There's one out there for you somewhere. What a lucky witch." He laughed. "She's getting man's best friend."

Sirius laughed halfheartedly at the dog joke and then grew silent. _Don't you understand? I love you. I've loved you for a bloody long time, idiot. Just look at me._

That night, when James had fallen asleep, Sirius put his book on the nightstand and moved to turn out the light. He looked over at James, sleeping peacefully and beautifully. He had never loved James more than when he had spent this time with him, living with him, breathing him every day.

James didn't know how much it meant to Sirius that he treated him like a brother. _If only it was more…_

Before he turned out the light, he dared to whisper "I love you."

"Hmm?" James said, rolling over, still half asleep.

"Oh, goodnight." Sirius said, thinking quickly.

"G'night, Pads."

The light clicked off with a distinctive finality, and Sirius rolled over. He couldn't tell James. But he could love him.

* * *

_A/N: This is for Sylvia. I didn't know if I could write this, but I did! So, some unrequited!SiriusJames for you. I hope it turned out okay, darling. Enjoy and Happy Valentine's Day._

_Allie_


	3. broken but not shattered

_broken but not shattered_

* * *

Lily Luna Potter was not someone to have a breakdown. No, in fact, she prided herself on being quite the composed witch. It was her fifth year at Hogwarts, and she had it all together.

That is, until she got the news.

"I'm so sorry." the headmaster said. She nodded and hugged James and went through the motions, and then she walked on autopilot back to her room.

And that was when she finally, once and for all, broke. Her parents were coming to pick her up in three hours, and she still hadn't packed her bags. She just sat on her bed and cried.

"Lily?" Roxanne walked into the room of the younger girl to find her not at all as she expected. "Oh, Lily. What's wrong?"

"It's Albus," she whispered.

"What about him?" Roxanne sat on her bed and took Lily's hand.

"He's…he's…"

"What, Lil?"

"He's dead!" she screamed, and it reverberated off of the stone walls, sending her voice into oblivion.

"Oh." Roxanne tried to find something to say, but there was nothing.

Lily wasn't crying. She wasn't sniffling. She was just staring at the floor, as if wishing it would open up and kill her, so she would be dead, too. Eventually, though, a tear had to fall. Al was her brother. He wasn't as stuck-up as James, or as overprotective as her mother, or as preoccupied as her dad. He understood Lily. There were only two people in the entire world that did that. One of them was dead and one of them was sitting on her bed.

And when that tear did fall, Roxanne held her as it turned into tears and waterfalls and floods.

"I'm broken," she said through her sobs. "I'm broken and I don't know how to fix it."

"Shh," Roxanne said, stroking her hair and kissing her forehead. "You're going to be okay, I promise. Shh." When Lily had quieted down a little, Roxanne dried her tears. "You're not shattered, Lily, that's the thing. People might crack you or break you but they will never, ever, shatter you. You're too strong for that." She pushed a piece of Lily's hair behind her ear.

"Roxy…" Lily put her head on Roxanne's shoulder.

"I know, sweetheart. I know."

Roxanne packed Lily's bags and her own, and they met the rest of their cousins and siblings in the entrance hall. They were all solemn, and James looked like he felt personally responsible for everything that had happened.

Harry and Ginny appeared by Portkey right on time, and all the cousins gathered around their separate Portkeys to get to the Burrow. Lily tried to remember the walls of Hogwarts as they were before Al died. Somehow they looked different now.

During the funeral, Roxanne never left Lily's side, and Lily wouldn't let her leave at the dinner. "Stay with me," she pleaded. "I need you."

"Okay," Roxanne whispered. "I'm here." They were both broken, but they were not shattered. They had each other.

* * *

_A/N: This is for Kelly, whom I love dearly. Happy Valentine's Day, have some angsty LilyLunaRoxanne. I hope I did them justice._

_Allie_


	4. stop telling me it's okay

_stop telling me it's okay_

* * *

"No." she tells you. "No."

"What?" you say, confused.

"Stop telling me it's okay. It's not, Lavender. It is so far from okay that it hurts." she says, and the desperation in her voice tells you she believes what she's saying.

"But it's going to get better, it's going to be-"

"Don't you dare say alright," she whispers. "Don't you dare. Because it's not. It's not." She turns around and runs, and runs, and you watch her disappear and become a dot all the way across the grass and you're left in the Quidditch pitch to wonder what you said. You told her she was beautiful. That you loved her. That it didn't matter what they said, it was going to be okay.

You guess she didn't believe you.

When you try to sit next to her, she moves. When you say hi to her, she starts a conversation with someone else. If she's stuck with you, she's obviously not comfortable.

"Parvati." You corner her one day when she's going to bed.

She ignores you, as usual.

"Parvati!" This time, your tone is urgent, almost as broken as hers was that day. It's enough to make her turn around.

"What?" she asks, exasperated, as though you are a five year old child asking to go to the park for the hundredth time today after being told no ninety-nine times.

"What did I do?" you ask, because you are hurting inside and you know that she knows.

She looks around before answering. "Nothing. You didn't do anything." She turns around to get into bed, but you put a hand on her shoulder. She shrugs away and glares at you.

"I did something, obviously." you insist. "You're treating me like I'm your worst enemy, or something."

It's quiet. "No, nothing's wrong. Everything's fine."

You only feel a little bad when you say "Don't you dare tell me everything's fine. Because it's not." The tears sting your face but you have resolved not to cry.

"You said you loved me." she said, looking around as though ashamed. "You can't love me. We're best friends, it's wrong."

"It's not wrong to love," you say, but you don't know who you're trying to convince.

She has nothing to say to you. She gets into bed. She falls asleep.

You do not.

When she wakes up, and you get up (because you have not slept), she acts as though nothing has happened. She still ignores you. She flirts with the boys and giggles with the girls and she ignores you. It's like you were never friends.

"Parvati…" you whisper. "Please understand."

But she does not hear you, because she's gone, she's downstairs, she's walking across the grass and smiling and breaking your heart and she does not know.

You wish you could tell her how beautiful she is, and that you will hold her tight and protect her from the nightmares, but you don't want to lose her forever, so you stay quiet. _And_, you think, _it's not going to be okay._

* * *

_A/N: For Laura, some unrequited!Lavender/Parvati. There's been quite a bit of slash and unrequited love, huh? Well, enjoy, darling, and Happy Valentine's._

_Allie_


	5. all the king's horses

_all the king's horses_

* * *

"Sirius?" you whisper.

He nods. "Yeah."

"Okay."

He has tiptoed into your bedroom in the middle of the night, and you woke with a start. You're still a little wary. And jumpy, apparently. Bloody Voldemort. "Remus?"

"What?" you ask, slightly exasperated. "I'm sleeping. Or trying to sleep."

"Oh." There is quiet, and then "Can I sleep with you?"

You sit up in bed and turn on the light, raising an eyebrow at your best friend. "What?"

He rolls his eyes. "Not like that. I meant, you know…sleep." He gestures at the bed sheepishly.

"Oh. Yeah, sure, come on." You silently wonder what brought this on, but decide to keep quiet. If he wants to tell you, he'll tell you. He climbs in, and you shift over, the two of you sharing the bed as if you did it every night. It's comfortable, having him there. Right.

You are falling back asleep, in that blissful state when you feel like drifting away, as you hear again "Remus?"

"Hmm?" you mumble this time.

"What's going to happen to us?"

_This is going to be a long conversation_, you think, and you turn on the light again, wincing as it hits your eyes. "I don't know," you say. It's too late for intellectual conversations, but you're awake now, anyways.

"I'm scared." he whispers, and for the first time you turn your head to look at him—really look at him. His hair is scraggly, his face looks worn, and his shoulders sag under the weight of the universe. He is world-weary, and world-wise, and he is everything. He is a storm and the little boy who crawls into your bed at night looking for comfort.

"I am, too," you find yourself saying. "But we have each other, right?" Very carefully, you take his hand. He does not pull away.

"I have to be there for Harry," he says. "And I have to keep myself out of trouble, and watch out for you, and for…" he trails off. "I don't know. It seems like a lot."

You lean over and lightly kiss his forehead. "I know. But I'm here."

He smiles, and his eyes crinkle. You see years of possibilities gone by in those eyes. You can remember when they were full of love and passion and excitement. Now they worry, brood, and show signs of wear and tear. "And I have to thank you for that." He squeezes your hand and gets up out of bed, walking over to your desk and taking a piece of parchment and a quill out of the drawer.

He begins to write. "I should write to Harry," he says quietly. You smile, nod, and get back underneath the covers, seeking their warmth. Rolling onto your side, you watch him in the dim light of the lamp and try to fall back asleep. He wrote with maddening speed, crossing things out again and again.

You knew he was broken. And you didn't think that all the king's horses and all the king's men could put Sirius Black together again. But you would sure try.

* * *

_A/N: This is for my constant love, Paula, and all of her amazingness. Happy extremely belated Valentine's Day, and I hope you enjoyed your favorite (?) pairing. You will always be my raincloud of slash!_

_Allie_


	6. hold me, fix me

_hold me, fix me_

* * *

Six years ago, the Sorting Hat had yelled "Slytherin!" when placed upon Scorpius Malfoy's head. And the same day, a hush fell through the Great Hall when you sat on that stool and went to the exact same place. Your cheeks burned bright red and the silence slowly evolved into whispers.

You sat down next to _him, _the boy you never wanted to share a bench with.

"Congrats," he had said. "Slytherin's the best!"

You were quiet.

Now, you don't want to be anywhere else. Yes, you're a Potter, and yes, you're a Slytherin, but it doesn't make you any less of a person. It had taken you a long time to learn that.

"You're beautiful," he had whispered, in the dead of the night. You had snuck up to the astronomy tower, tired of the dungeons and the confinement. You were tired of feeling worthless, of feeling like scum, of feeling like you didn't belong—you were nothing. "You're my world," he said. "You're my everything."

He, the charismatic charmer, and you, the silent wallflower, couldn't have been more different. He had it all; you had a bottle and a knife. You were convinced you didn't need anything else. But he found you, one night.

"Albus?" he whispered. You dropped the knife and covered your arms. "Oh, Merlin, Albus." He took away the knife and threw away the bottle. You felt lost without them, but you couldn't move to get them back. You were done. You told him so. "No, you're not." he said fiercely. "You're not going to be done, not ever. I'm not done with you yet." He took your face in his hands. "You're not allowed to leave me, you hear?"

You nodded. He cleaned your arms, but he didn't use his wand. He did it by hand, with a towel and a bowl of water. That was the night you fell in love, when he kissed you and he told you he would hold you forever if it meant you would be alright.

One night, when you were lying awake, you whispered "Can you fix me?" He woke up, blinking.

"Hmm?"

"Can you fix me?" you repeated, on the verge of tears, but you wouldn't let them fall.

"You don't need to be fixed." he answered, pulling you to him. You let him, enjoying the warmth of his naked chest. He was glorious, with that platinum blonde hair and that smile that made you put the scissors down.

You did that every night for a week, until one night he said, "Why are you asking me?"

Pausing, you answered him slowly. "Because you matter. And you're the only one I trust."

He smiled, and then "You don't need to be fixed," he repeated. That was all you needed to hear, one more time.

"Then hold me," you said, but he already was.

And then he broke routine: "You just need to be loved."

"Then love me," you said, but he already did.

* * *

_A/N: This is for Ella, my lovely and charismatic wife with not so platinum hair and a lovely accent. Happy really belated Valentine's Day, and I hope you love it. I guess you can never have too much angsty slash!_

_Allie_


	7. an infinity of love

_An Infinity of Love_

* * *

roxanne, they call  
come inside  
come see your family  
they're here to visit you

it's your birthday, darling  
you're eight years old  
and something's wrong  
inside your head

because you see stars where others see **darkness  
**and you see _love_ when others see –molly-  
and you look at :girls:  
the way you're supposed to look at =boys=

once you've figured all of this out  
of course  
you keep  
very  
_quiet_

so you don't go inside  
until they call you  
for the third time

**brash**, outspoken Roxanne  
you're nine now  
and _not so loud_

freddy's noticed  
but mum and dad are too busy yelling  
and crying  
and shouting  
to care

(you thank your lucky star*  
that you weren't named  
after your mother's dead sister  
if she had one)

(poor freddy)

double digits  
one more candle  
one more year of m-i-s-e-r-y  
to your name

your name means bright  
or dawn  
but these days you feel  
that sunset is much easier to live with  
because it's another day that  
you don't have to pretend

eleven candles, darling  
a very special letter  
in special green ink  
but not so special  
when there's two of you,  
is it?

freddy, older by a minute  
named after your dead uncle  
gets all the praise  
'just like your uncle, freddy!'  
'we're so proud, and so is fred!'  
'you'll be the prankster of Hogwarts!'

'oh, congrats, roxy'  
'we knew you'd get in'  
'very nice'

twelve times three hundred and sixty-five days  
makes for  
a very long time of hiding your love

she's at Hogwarts now, too  
molly molly molly  
a little too perfect  
you teach her how to live

thirteen is boring  
you're not old enough yet  
to do the things you want to do  
you want to get out  
and you want to escape your family's name

honey, fourteen is only a year of mistakes  
and fifteen is nothing much  
(except your first kiss)  
(but it was with a boy who used you—nothing special)  
(there's nothing special anymore when you live your life  
hiding from her)

sixteen  
everything turns around  
for good

'I might love you'  
'I might love you back'  
a trip to the greenhouse with  
molly molly molly  
and a blood promise to never tell

you're wrong together  
because she's too perfect  
and you're too ruined  
by your family  
by things that should have been and things that can't be

because your vision of life was one of

flowers  
and love  
and cloud watching  
and books on rainy days  
and roasting marshmallows  
and someone there to wake you from your nightmares

but no one's woken you up yet  
and seventeen is the year when all the flowers die  
and love breaks (because she has to be perfect)  
(for her family? or for herself?  
is she ashamed?)  
and the clouds don't look like stars  
and the rainy days make you run for cover  
and you've gotten burned by the fire one too many times

eighteen  
but all that matters  
is that she  
is seventeen  
and she is free to love you

will she come back?

sitting at the window  
watching the leaves kiss the ground  
and the snow settle in  
you realize that nothing changes  
unless it has to  
so _you_ change

a knock  
an answer  
two cups of tea  
one kiss  
three cookies (each)  
fifteen laughs  
and four hours later

you've changed.

you're not broken anymore  
(maybe a little cracked)  
you're perfect  
because you tell yourself there's nothing wrong  
with being in love

with molly

nineteen  
twenty  
twenty-one  
twenty-two  
married

twenty-three  
twenty-four  
twenty-five  
an infinity  
of love

* * *

_A/N: This was written for the ever-amazing Cassie, who happens to be my twin. Cassie: more Moxy for you, because there's never enough Moxy in the world! ILY forever, and thank you for being absolutely lovely. I want that rainbow scarf, and I baked you cookies!_

_Please drop a review on your way out :3_

_Allie_


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